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Channel: The Angry Therapist » Anxiety
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Driven by Anxiety

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I think we waste a lot of time and energy chasing things that don’t contribute to anything but keeping us stuck in our anxiety and old patterns.  The difference between a good chase and a bad one depends on if it’s driven by passion and truth or ego.

Here’s a list of some bad chases.

Blueprints that don’t work for us anymore.

Like seasons, plans, ideas, and desires change.  If you’re holding on to a map that doesn’t fit in your life anymore but continue on that journey only because you haven’t found your treasure, that chest is probably empty.  It’s okay that things and people that once made us happy no longer do.  What’s not okay is convincing yourself they still do.

Other people’s definitions.

Many ride shotgun or even in the back seat of their life.  They allow parents, friends, significant others, and older versions of themselves to drive their life.  Our definitions are based on our story and the lenses we see the world.  If you live your life through other people’s lenses, you will crash.

Money.

What if money was a symptom?  The by-product of passion, courage, and your gifts.  People who have money usually didn’t start chasing money.  They chased the feeling of something that made them feel alive and kept at it.  Money was generated through that process.  Then maybe once they had money, they started chasing money instead of their passion and they either stopped making money, become unhappy, or both. Chasing money will always lead you down a cul-de-sac.

Ifs.

Most of us spend our days dwelling on all the things that could have happened or could happen if only… I was stronger, smarter, skinnier.  Had waited a little longer.  Worked harder.  Knew what I know now… and on and on and on.  All ifs are booby traps.  They are mirages.  Follow them and you’ll see that there’s nothing there but sand.  If you chase ifs, you live in your head.  That’s not living.  That’s wondering.  Then one day you’ll wake up and wonder what you could have done with your life if you didn’t wonder so much.  Replace your conjunctions with verbs.

The past.

How does one chase the past?  By not letting it go.  We hold on to the past more than anything else.  Even if it was just yesterday.  Judgement is the glue that keeps us stuck to our past.  We judge the event.  And behind that judgement is a hard feeling.  Pain, anger, regret, resentment.  Stop judging and start accepting (that doesn’t mean ignore your feelings.  It means see your story without judgement or labels).  This will be the oil that will separate what happened from who you are.  Instead of chasing the past, embracing it and you will be free.

– Angry

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